Category Archives: Movies

Swept Under-2015

Swept Under

2015

Director: Michel Poulette

The summary of the movie: “On a routine job, crime-scene cleaner Morgan Sher (Devin Kelly) discovers evidence has been left behind. With the help of newbie detective Nick (Aaron Ashmore), she rushes to search for a killer’s identity.”

I crawled into bed the other night and realized I wasn’t quite tired enough to fall asleep. I saw the description and thought, why not.

Just for full disclosure off the bat, this seemed like a Lifetime movie. Who knows, it may have been. Nevertheless, I found it interesting.

The summary reads like others out there, but, this differed in several areas. There is a twist to the movie, so I can not go into too much detail without giving away the best part of the movie.

The characters and the actors are good. We grow to care about the two main characters. We learn he is a modern day Serpico and she is an awkward crime scene cleaner. These two begin working together under unusual circumstances. I like that. I don’t have anything negative to say about the two main characters. Some of the supporting actors weren’t so good, but luckily, their screen time is short lived.

This movie is classified as a thriller. I wouldn’t call it that. I would call it a mystery drama. There’s blood involved and some almost seen kills but nothing that brought a rush to my blood. As I mentioned, it’s very much like a tv movie.

The movie does drag during some parts but for the most part, it kept me interested. At the point of the twist, even my husband says, “did you see that coming” because I almost always do. Not this movie. Maybe I was too tired to be my typical super sleuth self, but I didn’t. The director did a great job not revealing anything that would make your mind go there. Wonderful. I love it when that happens.

The ending. I wished the ending would have been better. It seemed rushed and left you wondering. I was satisfied and not regretful to have watched it.

I personally wouldn’t let anyone under 16 watch it-but that’s me. It has a couple of sex scenes but no nudity. Side boob and bare back (and motions and sounds), but no worse than regular tv.

If you need something different to watch and you enjoy a decent who done it- give it a watch.

 

 


Abattoir- 2016

Abattoir- 2016

The summary on IMDB reads, “An investigative reporter teams up with a police officer to solve the mystery of why a seemingly good man murdered her sister’s family.”

Rated: R for bloody horror violence, and language

I was interested in the concept of this movie after an hour of watching trailers on Vudu. I found the DVD available via Netflix and put it on the list. I finally got around to watching it this afternoon after finishing a couple of B “horrors” available through instant streaming. I should have kept the DVD player off.

That is time I will not get back.

First, the movie seems to not know what era it is in. It starts off seeming like it could be in the 1950’s given the characters look and speech (and let’s not forget her vehicle) but at other times it seems maybe 2010 and then pushes us back to the 1980’s and back. Very weird.

Second, there is no horror or thrill to this movie…at all, well, unless you are an 8 year old. The so called murders in the movie are really vague, blurred scenes with some clear blood splatter (except maybe one very short scene). They don’t even bother putting any jump scares in the movie.

Third, none of the logic in the movie is, well, logical. As the summary states, the main character’s family is murdered. That’s clear. You see in the trailer that she finds the room in which the murder occurred to be deconstructed and physically removed from her sister’s recently sold home. That’s what is said but what is actually shown is that the drywall and furniture is gone, not the “structure of the room”. As a grieving woman, she was curious as to why someone would do this. Okay, this makes sense. Every thing after that you can forget about trying to understanding. Even the detective in the movie can’t find any logic in what’s going on and basically is just a character to run around with a badge and gun but of no real use.

Let’s talk about the abattoir itself. Just to save you the google search, Abattoir means slaughterhouse. From the trailers, you can figure that a house is being built in the middle of nowhere and is constructed from these crime rooms. Cool concept (kinda reminds me of Thirteen Ghost). What doesn’t make sense is there are random rooms out in front of the abattoir which is out in the middle of the woods. There’s no reason for these really and makes no sense. Inside the abattoir, each room contains repeating blurred images or
“essences” of the original crime. It was kinda cool (but not thrilling) the first time the concept was shown early in the movie, now it’s just old. The last few minutes of the movie take place in the abattoir which is the climax but it fell short in thrills or scares.

The characters aren’t developed, so I didn’t give a crap what really happened to any of them. Lin Shaye is the best character of the movie. She’s real….real crazy but funny. I really like Dayton Callie and is solid in the film, but he’s just a bunch of lines that don’t really make any sense. All the other characters could have been easily replaced and no one would care.

The storyline while seemingly fresh, falls in line with most horror movie cliches while confusing the viewers as it keeps trying to tie it all together; a task impossible due to all the gaps and non logical rhetoric. By the way, the movie has nothing to do with the “seemingly good man” who killed the main character’s family.

I give this movie 0 rooms for lack of a proper summary, lack of a flowing storyline, lack of horror and thrills, lack of good characters, and lack of a anything living up to the word abattoir.

There is some language, violence and lots of splattered walls.

 

 

 

 


iZombie – Season 1

iZombie – Season 1

2015- Diane Ruggiero, Rob Thomas – Rated TV-14

So, I decided to watch this show as I was looking for a break in my usual shows in my Netflix instant stream.  I was reluctant, however, because the description and the preview that I saw just seemed too cheesy. I figured I would give it a chance anyway and watch one or two episodes.

The plot is that a medical student is turned into a zombie and decides to take a position in the medical examiners office so she has a supply of food. The side affect of eating brains is that the zombie that eats the brains has visions of that person’s life. The main character pairs up with her boss to try and find a cure and also a new homicide cop. She uses the visions to help the detective solve the person’s murder.

The good: The plot is original, at least, as far as I know. The actors/actresses are good. The scenes are realistic. For a CW show, there isn’t a lot of sex, drugs or boozing going on. To be honest and fair, there isn’t much about the show I don’t find entertaining.

The bad: The love/relationship drama gets old but that’s true for most shows. There is one plot point that is annoying….the main character’s appearance. Once the character is turned, she becomes pale with white hair- the obvious sign some one is a zombie besides their hunger for brains. No worry, this is not a spoiler for the show. The other zombies alter their appearance to blend in but not the main character, but yet she is amazed that people are figuring it out……

I really am shocked at how much I was entertained by the show. It’s a new concept that delivers it’s lines humorously.

It’s rated TV-14 but I would probably say, more like TV-16, just because there are some sex scenes, although very mild and some potentially disturbing zombie /dead body scenes.

This review is just for the first season.

 


True Blood- Season 1

TRUE BLOOD- Season 1-2008

Rated TV-MA

Back in 2008 when I was actually listening to the radio, I remember hearing multiple radio personalities rave about this show, so I was excited to see that it was finally available for instant stream through Netflix.

One evening while the daughter was out, I started the show.

First complaint is that the actors have the worst, fake, southern accents I have ever heard and I’m pure south, so I would know. It’s almost TOO ridiculous, but I kept watching anyway hoping that the ridiculousness wouldn’t last. Second complaint is that there is just a bit too much tits & ass and screwing going on. I can recognize that sex sells and many shows (this is an HBO production) will put in a lot of put out scenes to sell the first season, but this show has lots of sex and female nudity. I’m not a prude, but I would say that some scenes could have been cut in length or all together and “still maintained the integrity of the script”. The plus side is that some of the sex scenes will give you a chuckle as most bad porn will.  I am truly not a fan of the damsel in distress shows so that is another strike against the show. I get tired of hearing the whining of the main character and her bipolar attacks that are so hypocritical that I guess you would have to be some kind of desperate to keep putting up with it as the men in the show do. The upside is that the main character, Anna Paquin who plays Sookie), pulls off the full of herself, righteous, and ditzy small town girl well.

This show aired before the first installment of the Twilight series and the subsequent vampire invasion. I was happy to see that one big difference between this vampire show and the others that came after was that the main characters are not high school students even though some of the “DrAma” is the same, I feel better knowing the show isn’t promoting promiscuity, drinking and drug use in teens. Another plus for the show is that the story line isn’t completely predictable, at least, not until later in the season. It also has good effects and the ass beatings look pretty real.

I just started the second season and still haven’t decided if the plus’ outweigh the negatives, but it IS something different to watch.

This is not a show for youngsters or even teenagers. It is rated TV-MA and includes lots of sex, nudity, promiscuity, crude humor, gore, violence, language, drug use and drinking and sheer stupidy.


R.I.P.D. (2013) Movie Review

R.I.P.D. (2013) Movie Review

Having seen the previews for this, I thought this might be a good comedy for the family. Like usual, I was right.

This movie heavily resembles MIB. It reminded me of MIB due to the cartoonish scenes when the “undead” are revealed and their plot to rule the world by piecing together a powerful relic, previously destroyed. It differed in that MIB was based in the “real world” versus RIPD was based in the afterlife with visits to the “real world”.

My only real complaint with the movie was that Jeff Bridges was sometimes really hard to understand because he sounded like he was mumbling. And, although the movie is “Rated PG-13 for violence, sci-fi/fantasy action, some sensuality, and language including sex references”, I felt there was more sensuality and sex references than necessary.

Despite the unoriginal plot, the movie was enjoyable and held your attention. If you’ve read my other reviews, you know I don’t ever really laugh or smile at movies but this one brought a couple of smiles.

Spend the dollar to rent it from Redbox or put it in your Netflix queue and enjoy.


BridesMaids (2011) Movie Review

BridesMaids (2011) Movie Review

I’ll start with the cold hard truth……I hated this movie. I know, I know, I don’t really hate movies….but now I have an exception to my generality.

I had heard great things about the movie like it was hilarious but, no, it wasn’t, not at all.

It was a redundant piece of wanna be chick flick/best bud crap that HW is famous for. Some scenes went on way too long and lost the comedic gold it could have been. The actresses seemed to ad lib practically the whole thing and it didn’t play out well. The speech was choppy and forced like a young child that says something to get a chuckle so he keeps on being goofy for more laughs but it’s not funny at all. That may not make sense to some of you, but I know someone has to understand Also, as a female, I get so sick of the materialistic, false ideals of weddings & marriage and this was chocked full of, “I got to have the perfect blah”!

Rated R for some strong sexuality, and language throughout


The Conjuring (2013)

The Conjuring (2013)

From the moment I watched the preview, I wanted to see this movie. I have to admit, I usually want to see most movies that come out that are in this genre, hoping to be scared and thrilled out of my mind. Many years of experience and I remained hesitantly optimistic.

First to all the critics who went on and on about how there was nothing new about this movie all I can say is, “what the hell did you think was going to happen”? From the previews, we know this is supposed to be based on a true story from a case of famous paranormal investigators, the Warren’s. What do we know about the Warren’s, well they are the folks who investigated the Amityville Horrors (yes, that case was also turned into a movie). Just knowing this information gives you the whole plot of the movie. If you went in thinking it was going to be something other than a flick to get your heart and mind racing with cheap scares, you should have known better. Also, given that the preview lets you know the movie will have hauntings should have given another clue to how the movie would play out.

Having admitted that I went into the movie knowing the plot and what to expect, I was slightly impressed with the movie. Granted, you still had the idiots “shrugging off abnormal occurrences” or “going to the creepy cellar with only a match” instead of running in the opposite direction like a rational person would do, but it wouldn’t be a movie otherwise. I liked that the “ghosts” were subtle and not over the top with makeup and effects. They visibly only came out to play occasionally which helped the buildup of the scenes.  I also appreciated that the scenes were lit enough to see what was going on (or not). I hate having to struggle to make images instead of being able to survey the scene, but that was not the case here. The movie also refrained from taking too long to build up to the oddities and submersed the audience into the strangeness of the house almost immediately.

The actors/actresses did a good job.

My main complaint is the sub-story of the Warren’s. I think the movie devoted too much time for this. However, I had to remind myself that this was supposedly based on a true story, so these two stories of the Pollen’s and the Warren’s would have inter-crossed during the investigation of the house. The movie also left some questions opened.

So yes, the movie is predictable (but which horror movies aren’t really) but it’s not a bad movie to watch for a couple of jumps and eerie feelings.

Rated R for sequences of disturbing violence and terror.